iSnuggle
by Smileys
Summary: You know the writers will nicely break them up in iLost My Mind. This is my story of how they get back together after that. My first fic and a big load of fluff!


CHAPTER 1: Dreaming

Once again, Freddie was laying in his bed just staring at the ceiling. He'd been doing that quite a bit lately, just trying to make sense of his mixed up life. How did things get so crazy? Everything was going along the same as usual, he was a tech whiz, his mom was an aggressive and annoying parent, he did well in school, he idolized Carly but admitted to himself he wasn't in love with her and never was, it was just a crush. He enjoyed being the technical producer for iCarly, the junior bow and arrow club, the math club and AV club, Galaxy Wars conventions and he wouldn't admit it to any one but he enjoyed his frenemy Sam. Well, she originally was his just his enemy and he really did have to hide just how much her mental torture and names hurt. He never could hide just how much the physical abuse hurt. But they became frenemies and he realized she really didn't mean the things she said, it was just how she dealt with life. The physical stuff still hurt though! Man, that girl was strong!

Something started to change, maybe even before they shared their first kiss. Things started to change for Freddie at least, he wasn't so sure Sam changed at all. At least not until that mind blowing kiss she laid on him. He was so stunned he couldn't even move, didn't kiss back. Even with all his computer skills he couldn't calculate the number of times he had kicked himself since for not kissing back, not putting his arms around her and pulling her close or at least saying something profound afterwards that would've kept Sam from running away instead of just standing there like a nub! Sam liked him too? Sam? He never imagined the blond-headed demon he secretly loved had any other feelings for him than pure hatred. Maybe hatred was too strong of a word since they were frenemies but she liked him? LIKE liked him? His pear pad app said she even loved him! He just had to go and talk to her about it and it was true, she did have feelings for him. They even went on a few interesting dates before the whole situation of the tough girl dating the tech dork was too much for Sam.

Sam ended up in Troubled Waters Mental Hospital for a few days. He tried to go see her but she refused to see him. Finally Carly told him Sam didn't want to date him any more, she wanted to pretend the whole thing didn't even happen. She claimed it was all a mistake, just temporary insanity. Freddie knew it was a lie but what could he do? If denial, no, not the river in Utah, was how Sam needed to cope with her feelings for him for awhile then he had to let her do that for her own mental well-being. Now all he could do was wait and watch and hope and worry and long for his... uh... long quietly for his lady love certainly didn't fit when it came to Sam so let's just say long for his girl. Which sounded dorky, even to Freddie. However long Sam needed to pretend she didn't care for him Freddie was willing to wait. Weeks? No, the weeks went by without any change in Sam other than, perhaps, her abusing him more and him taking it more willingly than before just to be near her. Months? It had already been 2 months! Years? Please, God, not years! This was worse than the torture Sam inflicted on him on purpose. So, once again, Freddie was just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out his life.

Even his mind was playing tricks on his broken heart. The night before he dreamed he was snuggling in bed with Sam. It was wonderful, it was sweet and heart warming and so totally un-Sam-like he knew even if they had dated for ages just snuggling together wasn't something Sam would ever do. But dreaming about it made Freddie feel happy because he sort-of got to experience the snuggling but also made him very sad to know it would never really happen, especially if Sam never got over the denial of her feelings for him. Imagining her moving on and going out with other guys completely freaked Freddie out. She was HIS girl! Freddie told himself to stop thinking that way and just replay the dream over again in his head a few thousand times. Spooning with Sam, his arms around around her all soft and warm and her so relaxed and peaceful in her sleep. Soon enough Freddie fell asleep thinking of Sam, again.

Freddie opened his eyes just a crack only to find he was back in his dream. The light from the Bushwell sign on the top of the building lit his room just enough at night that he was used to being able to see around his room at any time. When he was little he didn't even need a night light. So, as when he was awake, he could clearly see that his bedroom door was opening and Sam was sneaking into his room. Alright, he was back in the Sam dream! Freddie told himself to enjoy every moment and remember everything for later daydreams. Sam quietly made her way across the room and lifted up the covers and slid in bed with Freddie. She laid her head on Freddie's outstretched arm and snuggled her back into his chest. She even reached back to grab his other hand and bring it across her body so he was holding her again. Her soft curls tickled his cheek and smelled of strawberries. He rested his chin on her head and tightened his hold on her and just enjoyed the feeling, until before he knew it, he woke up in bed alone again and it was time to start another hard day of pretending it didn't break his heart to be nothing more than frenemies with Sam again.

Yesterday Freddie thought he caught Sam staring at him with a dreamy look on her face. As soon as he looked straight at her she turned away and looked busy with her homework. Sam, doing homework? Riiiiiight! Then later after iCarly rehearsal they went to the Groovy Smoothie with Carly and somehow Sam managed to spike his smoothie with cayenne pepper and nearly blistered his mouth! She laughed all the way back up to the Shay's apartment. It was pure Sam. And he loved her any way. Maybe he really was a dork, he thought to himself. A masochistic dork. Wasn't his life hard enough without loving Sam Puckett? Even her name fit her! A puck - a malicious or mischievous demon - so Puckett would be a small malicious or mischievous demon. That was his Sam. And God help him, he loved her.

Freddie and Carly were just sitting in bean bags in the iCarly studio and chatting as they waited for Sam to show up for rehearsal. She was very late, as usual. Eventually she did show up, said "Hi, Carls! Where's the nub?" to Carly and proceeded to jump up as high as she could to come crashing down on the bean bag - the one Freddie was sitting on! Thankfully he noticed what she was doing and curled his body up just enough that the backs of Sam's legs hit his knees and her rear end landed on his chest and stomach instead of where it was originally going to land. Freddie didn't even want to think about how that would've felt! Ooof! Sam landed HARD on Freddie.

"Sam!" Carly yelled! "Are you trying to kill Freddie?"

Sam tried to look innocent, glancing around pretending she didn't see Freddie right under her. "Fredweird who?"

"You know, that friend of yours, underneath you and turning blue because he can't catch his breath!" retorted Carly. Clearly mad that Sam had gone too far this time.

Freddie was trying to gasp for air. Not that Sam weighed so much sitting on him but she'd landed so hard all the breath had been knocked completely out of him and he was having trouble catching his breath. Just as he finally managed a full gasp and gulp of air, Sam bounced up off him and danced across the room smirking the whole time. Freddie was just sitting there breathing heavily. gasp Wait a minute, Freddie smelled something familiar. deep breath He swore he could smell strawberry shampoo. He had no idea Sam used strawberry scented shampoo, it was just part of his imagination making it up for his dream. Wasn't it? He stared at Sam who was laughing at him trying to breathe. She used strawberry shampoo and at night when she was in his arms in his 'dreams' her hair just happened to smell of strawberries. Was it? Could it really be? Sam was actually sneaking into his room to secretly sleep with him? Sam liked to snuggle? Unbelievable! It just didn't make any sense to Freddie but he was hoping it was true.

"Come on, Frednub, you shouldn't have even noticed me sitting on you, unless you are a wimpy tech weenie dork. Oh, that's right, you are a wimpy tech weenie dork!" Sam laughed. "Let's get this rehearsal over with, momma's hungry!"

Freddie just sat there for another moment trying to gather his thoughts as much as catch his breath. Finally Sam threatened him, "Get your nubby butt over to your nerd station or I'll swear I'll climb up and get the wedgie bounce hook down!" That got Freddie moving, his parts had already dodged one attack from Sam today, he'd better not press his luck.

The rehearsal didn't go as well as usual. They really needed to rehearse again before the show. For some reason Carly and Sam were not only stepping on each others lines but on each others feet too. They just couldn't seem to get in sync like usual. But the props were all in place and working and they had their lines down pretty well. Freddie was working out a few lighting changes he wanted to implement before the show. Once they wrapped up Sam and Carly headed to the Groovy Smoothie as usual but Freddie begged off, saying he had too much homework.

Freddie did have homework but nothing unusual, mostly he did not want a smoothie. He went home and tried to keep his mind on his homework while drinking 2 large bottles of Peppy Cola but his mind kept wandering back to a certain demon and strawberry scented hair. He wanted to know if he was going crazy and needed to check into Troubled Waters himself or if Sam really was breaking into his apartment and sneaking into his room at night. That was why he wanted Peppy Cola instead of a smoothie, to stay awake tonight. He had to hide the second bottle from his mother who gave him enough grief over the first one. "Boys who drink milk grow up big and strong!" she sang.

"Mooooooooommmm!" was all Freddie could say while rolling his eyes. Did she have to be an overprotective, extra-vigilant parent every second of every day? Sheesh! Give a guy a break once in a while why don't ya?

Freddie straightened up his mostly clean room, changed the sheets on his bed and got in bed, wide awake. Again he was just laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out Sam and figure out his life but this time there was some happiness swirling and bouncing around in his chest, some hope of progress towards them getting back together. Or, he was just imagining things? Maybe he unconsciously already knew she used strawberry shampoo from a previous close encounter with her hair so his subconscious put that in the dream? Maybe he didn't even smell strawberries after she landed on him, heck, he could hardly breathe at that time. He was so nervous he probably didn't need the Peppy Cola, he doubted he could fall asleep tonight even with out the extra help staying awake. Would she show up? Was he imagining things? If she did show up, what should he do? Pretend he was asleep? Let her know he was awake as soon as she walked in? Wait until she was in bed with him? Wait until she was leaving in the morning? And what about if she didn't show up? How crushed would he be to not know if she just didn't show up that particular night or had never snuck into his room at night and he really was just dreaming it all up? The digital clock's minute display seemed to change minutes about every hour. Time was nearly at a stand still and Freddie felt like his life was at a stand still trying to figure this mystery out.

It was nearly midnight when Freddie thought he heard a floorboard creak in the hallway outside his bedroom. He pretended to be asleep with his eyes open just enough to peek through his lashes. His doorknob turned. He'd be devastated if it was his mom starting up her middle of the night checks again to see if he was still breathing. A small blonde stepped into his room and quietly closed the door. She stood very still just looking at Freddie and listening. She must hear the thundering of my heart! Freddie thought. He tried to breathe shallowly like he was asleep but he was so over joyed that she was really here it was very difficult to lay still and breathe quietly. He felt like jumping out of bed and hugging her and dancing around the room and screaming with joy! OMG! OMG! OMG! She's coming over to get in bed with me! Lay still! Try to relax! Heart, stop beating so fast and loud! Come on, make a sleepy, droopy face, she'll know something's up if you have a big dopey grin on your face! Freddie thought maybe the Peppy Cola was a really bad idea now, he was so wired and happy and having such trouble laying still.

Sam lifted up the covers and slid into bed with Freddie. She was wearing cut off sweat pants and an old t-shirt. Freddie's mother made him wear 'proper flame-retardant pajamas' both the tops and the bottoms but at least they were soft, he wanted everything to be as nice for Sam as he could make it. He had to bite his lip to keep from groaning with pleasure as she scooted back to cuddle in right next to him. Once she was comfortable she let out this huge sigh and her whole body relaxed. Freddie's heart just melted. It must be just a puddle of goo in his chest, so how could it still be beating so fast? Love is just goofy all around. Freddie patted himself on the back for his acting performance as he pretended to shift in his sleep and just happened to bring his other arm around to hold on to Sam. Yes, her hair did smell of strawberries and did tickle his chin when he tucked her under his chin and close to his chest. It wasn't long before Sam's breathing became shallow and even and she even mumbled a little in her sleep. Freddie wondered what she was dreaming about.

Suddenly that darn clock that was slower than a stoned turtle before was now as fast as a rabbit on speed! He wanted to savor every moment even more now that he knew it was real but the time was flying by. Eventually he fell asleep, but he didn't want to. He woke up with a start when he suddenly noticed the absence of Sam in his arms. He opened his eyes to see her making her way across his room. He quickly closed them almost all the way. The room was getting lighter now with sunrise and he didn't want her to know he was awake. As she opened the door and turned to close it again she stood there for just a minute looking at Freddie. Then she closed the door and was gone.

Well, now what? Freddie needed someone to talk to. Obviously it would have to be Carly. But did Sam want Carly to know? She didn't even want Freddie to know she was sleeping next to Freddie! But they had promised no more secrets so he didn't feel too much like he was betraying a confidence talking to Carly about that was happening. It wasn't surprising that Sam had detention after school again the next day so he and Carly walked home together without Sam. He was nervous about bringing up the subject so he waited until they were in her apartment and he knew Spencer wasn't around to over hear them.

"Uh, Carly? I really need to talk to you about something." Freddie blurted out.

"That sounds serious, Freddie. What's up?" she asked.

"Sam's been sleeping with me..." he started to say.

Carly yelled, "WHAT? You and Sam and sleeping together? How long? How come you guys never said anything? What is going on?"

"Calm down," Freddie said "I don't mean we're having sex. I don't even know how long, I just found out last night."

"You've been sleeping together but not having sex and you didn't even know? That's crazy, how can that be?" Carly asked.

Freddie took a deep breath and started, "I have been dreaming for about a week that Sam and I were sleeping, and I mean sleeping sleeping, not sex, together. Just snuggled under the covers at night sleeping next to each other. I thought I was just dreaming but then some things started to click that maybe it wasn't a dream so last night I stayed awake and waited. Around midnight Sam snuck into my room and got in bed with me and went to sleep. About 5am this morning she snuck back out and never said a word about it at school or any hint that she'd been there."

"Awwwwwww... that's sweet. Weird, but sweet." Carly gushed.

"But now that I know what do I do? It seems Sam doesn't want me to know she's there. If I let her know that I know she might stop coming over, I do not want that to happen! She wants to be there and I want her to be there." he explained.

"Hey, I just thought of something. If she's been leaving your place around 5 in the morning it's no wonder she hasn't been late for school and she was here at my apartment before I woke up both days last weekend. She must have come over here after leaving you. She never said anything to me about being at your place. In fact, she said she had to leave her place because her mom was having a loud party and the guys were getting out of control so she left one day and the other day she said she was hungry and there was no food at her place."

"I'd love to go back to publicly dating Sam, declaring our relationship to the world but that was part of what freaked out Sam before. I would be happy to have a secret relationship with her but right now Sam is acting like that is too much for her also. She doesn't even want me to know! How do I calm her fears about that if I'm not even supposed to know!" he exclaimed.

Carly thought about it all for a few minutes. Taking into account the personalities, fears, upbringings everything she could think of about the two. "I'm guessing she does still want to date you but after dumping you before she's afraid to let you know. She obviously really wants to be close to you, she just doesn't know how to say it. Then again, she's been meaner to you when you two are awake than she's ever been. Maybe trying to throw you off track? Wow, this is all very complicated. Whatever you do, be gentle, try not to hurt her."

"CAR-LY! Of course I don't want to hurt her! But do I let her know that I know she's there in bed with me and I'm ok with it? And how do I let her know without freaking her out?" he asked.

They both thought about it but couldn't come up with a solution that didn't have any major flaws. Freddie would just have to wing it when the time came. But for the next few days and nights he napped in the afternoon if he could and stayed awake as long as possible just holding Sam close to his heart while she slept.

CHAPTER 2: Invitation

Pam Puckett was finally passed out on the couch in front of the television with empty beer cans all around here. "It's about time. " said her daughter and got up, grabbed a bag from her room and headed out the door. It was a long walk to the Bushwell Building from Sam's dumpy home but it was worth the effort. She was headed over to crawl in bed with the guy she's wanted to be paired up with for what seemed like forever.

It was a nice night to walk and think. Warm but not hot and for a nice change it wasn't sprinkling or raining in Seattle, just a gentle breeze to play with Sam's hair. She'd spent a lot of time thinking about Freddie lately. Who was she kidding? She's been thinking a lot about him for years. At first, she thought he was a cute but nerdy kid. They started hanging out together with Carly when they were at that age where girls were much more mature, physically and emotionally, so Freddie seemed younger than herself at the time. But he was a cutie and smart and nice. But he was sooooo into Carly he couldn't see anything or anyone else and that made Sam mad. That was she started picking on him. At first it was partly because she was mad and partly to get his attention. She had even gold him straight out that she did mean things to guys she liked, like when she stole Carter Ford's basketball from his locker. Benson was smart but not when it came to figuring out girls, especially Sam! Later on the abuse was just the relationship they grew to have between them and were used to. It was Sam's way of flirting without looking pathetic by being foolish over someone not interested in a romantic relationship. Frednub was constantly embarrassing himself mooning over Carly.

She was really sorry she had hurt Freddie so much by telling the world he'd never kissed anyone but she was not sorry at all that by doing that she got to share her first kiss with him. Since it was her first kiss and she didn't have anything to compare it too she wasn't sure it was as good as she thought it was but now she knew – Freddie was an amazing kisser, a natural. Sam had always thought his lips looked kissable and they certainly were. After so much time passing since their first kiss Sam couldn't stand it any more and finally planted one on him. He thought she was in love with Brad! Yeah, she loved Brad's fudge but Brad? He didn't have Freddie's thick dark hair, amazing smile, kissable lips, muscular chest – wow, his working out was making him buff! and Brad was far too tall for Sam. Freddie was the perfect height and the nicest guy that would even put up with the things Sam put him through and not hate her. Freddie was basically saying 'Go for it.' like Carly just had so she did!

OMG! WHAT DID I JUST DO? Sam had thought at the time. I just handed Fredward Benson the ability to crush my heart! Sam may be ultra tough on the outside but she guarded her emotions well, they could be quite fragile. She trusted Carly not to hurt her but only Carly. Sam was actually scared. Freddie had every reason in the world to reject her and that would smash her heart and ego to smithereens. She knew very well she was not good enough for him. Now he'd have to tell her he wasn't the least bit interested in being the boyfriend of a juvenile delinquent. He hadn't kissed back, but his lips had been oh so soft and wonderful. He hadn't even touched her. He probably was repulsed by the kiss. For once in her life Sam couldn't stand up and fight, she ran away.

As it happened, Sam received a miracle. Freddie came to her and wanted to talk about the kiss and her feelings for him. Sam kept up her blasé exterior and tried to brace her heart for rejection. She didn't want him to see her cry. But the expected speech of how he liked her as a friend but she wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend never came, he even said he had feelings for her too. And wanted to try dating her! Sam was going to get to go out with Freddie! And they did go out on a few dates, it was a little awkward but nice and the kisses they shared were amazing! Sam's insides got all mushy and mixed up in a really nice way. He kissed soooo good that he managed to kiss away her hunger for food. She didn't think anything could do that but Fredlump's kissed could. But others could see she wasn't good enough for him. Every time they were together at school everyone stared, even if they weren't holding hands or touching in any way. Sam knew they could all see how smart he was, how well he interacted with others, even the teachers, how he was active in social clubs and had lots of friends and she was none of those things. Even out in public Sam felt like strangers were judging them and finding her lacking. It all got to be too much for her and she went a bit nutty. She checked into Troubled Waters Mental Hospital as an escape and to have time to think. The staff there really wanted to help her and maybe they could have, if she'd let them. She just could not trust strangers with her personal feelings and demons, even if they were mental health professionals. And since she wouldn't open up and talk, they really couldn't help. But it gave her a chance to escape the situation and think.

Obviously the relationship with Freddie wasn't going to last. Eventually he would see what everyone else saw and dump her for not being good enough for him. She couldn't let that happen. She had to try the best she could to back things up to a time when things were safer – before she'd kissed him. Pretend it didn'' happen. It hurt but she had to do it. Freddie agreed to go back to being just friends. See? He already knew they wouldn't last and was probably glad to have a way out.

It worked pretty well but Sam missed him. She She wanted to see him more than at school and Carly's place. Wanted to be more than just friends. Wanted to be close to him, physically and emotionally, even if the thought of that freaked her out completely. One night about three weeks ago she was not able to sleep at all. She missed Freddie, her mom was on a binge, school was more awful than usual. Life was just stressing her out all around. She couldn't take it, she got out of bed and went right to Freddie. No big deal to break into the apartment and she knew which room was Freddie's and that his mom was working the night shift that night. She walked right into his room and got in bed with him. He never woke up. She felt amazingly better when she was right next to Freddie. The world's problems melted away and she felt at peace and when he put his arms around her she felt so very safe. After weeks of not being able to sleep hardly at all Sam fell into a deep sleep. She barely managed to wake up and sneak out before Freddie's alarm went off. Ever since then she's been running off to her personal haven every night except the one when her mom drank more coffee than beer and wouldn't go to sleep or leave Sam alone long enough for her to get out the door. Even the night she 'slept over' at Carly's she went over to Freddie. Carly never even knew.

And now here she was again, breaking into the Bensons apartment. She needed to be extra careful tonight because Crazy Mrs. Benson was home again tonight. They both had strict bedtimes so she she knew they'd be in bed. Freddie looked so peaceful laying there in his bed. Are his eye's open a bit? Nah, he's asleep. In his sleep he'd been putting his arms around her and pulling her close, she knew he'd never do that if he were awake. He'd probably be shocked to be sleeping with someone he wasn't really serious about. Sam didn't know how things would progress but she had no plans to let Freddie know she was sleeping with him. That would open up that whole can of worms of people judging them again. She couldn't take the stress. She put the worries aside and cuddled up to Freddie for a good nights sleep.

The next day Sam was careful to keep up appearances of being frenemies. Wow, a large syringe full of Peppy Cola though the vent holes of his locker and the guy goes all bonkers about sticky books and ruined homework. Yup, that should do it for today. Wait, maybe a smear of bacon grease on his camera lens to drive him buggy during their rehearsal.

That night Sam's mom went out for the evening fairly early and likely wouldn't be back until the next day. Sam had a chance to get over to Bushwell earlier than usual. A little extra Freddie time for Sam, getting a little extra peaceful sleep too. The elevator opened onto the hallway of the 8th floor and Sam headed to the Bensons door. After so many nights of picking the lock she was getting to know their lock pretty well and it took less than 4 seconds to let herself in. She looked around the nice clean apartment and into the clean kitchen that she knew contained plenty of food and envied Freddie the nicer home. But if it came with the whacko mom, she'd pass. Freddie's door was closed as always, probably a fire safety issue with mama Benson, thought Sam. She quietly opened the door and saw her Freddie all comfy in his bed. What would he say if he knew she was invading his personal space like this? She was sure he'd be livid. She made her way across the room over to the bed and was about to lift the covers and slide in bed when Freddie's arm raised up, holding the covers up for her to get in bed with him. HOLY GIRLY COW! He was awake! And it couldn't be for the first time he was awake when she was there. He knew what she was there for, he was holding the covers up for her. Run! Hide! Flee! Sam snapped around and tore out of the apartment and building and headed back home. She didn't allow herself to think too much about what happened until she was back home.

Freddie had been awake at some point when she was with him at night during the past three weeks. He must have been. Otherwise he would have been shocked to see any one in his room during the night but he hadn't been surprised at all. And he knew she was about to get in bed with him or he wouldn't have lifted up the covers. Wait, lifted the covers to help her out so she could get in bed with him? He'd been awake and instead of pushing her out of bed he'd been holding her close? She was welcome in his bed after all she'd put him through? Sam was in awe – I'm welcome in Freddie's bed and he wants to cuddle with me! But now he knows I'm there, now I have to face him at school when he knows where I've been sleeping. But, wow, he's ok with me in his bed. Amazing. Sam spent most of that night and the next morning wondering if she dared go back again. Would Freddie say something at school or later at Carly's place and tell her to stay out of his room? Sam Puckett, she told herself, you are a strong person, you can beat up anyone, you can face a nerdy Freddie and see what happens.

Freddie wasn't sure what to do about Sam running out of his room. Tell her it was ok if she stayed? Pretend it didn't happen? For sure he wouldn't say anything in public or even in front of Carly. He knew Sam didn't want that. So at school the next morning he acted like nothing happened. Sam pretty much avoided him as much as possible, not even bothering to torture him. That evening she showed up about one minute before iCarly went live and ran off as soon as they finished.

"What was that all about?" Carly asked.

Freddie sighed, "Last night I let her know I was aware she was sleeping with my by lifting up the covers so she could get in bed with me and she freaked and ran off. I think she's avoiding me now."

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I think, for now, nothing. Give her time to get used to the idea that I already knew she was there and it was ok with me. Heck, it was a lot better than 'ok'!" he said. "After she left last night I really missed sleeping with her, my bed was lonely."

"Awww, poor Freddie."

The routine was the same for the next couple of days. Sam avoided Freddie during the day and didn't come to his room to sleep at night. Freddie was getting worried that she'd never come over again. How do I tell her I want her there without just coming out and saying it to her face and freaking her out? he wondered.

At iCarly rehearsal that afternoon Freddie kept tripping up on small things and missing his cues. "Yo, Fredwina! What's up with you? Someone drain what little brain you have?" Sam asked.

Freddie got a wonderful idea. "Sorry, Sam, I'm just tired. I can't seem to sleep well the last few nights. I just can't get comfortable in my bed." he said pointedly and yawned for good measure. Then he waited for a stinging comeback from Sam but she was quiet and moved on to get dressed for the next skit. Freddie hoped she got the message that he wanted her back in bed, he really was having trouble sleeping right now, wondering if she'd ever come back. Any step towards getting back together was a step in the right direction, no matter how small or strange. After rehearsal the three of them went to the Groovy Smoothie like usual and chatted and laughed and Sam seemed better than she had been for days. She even managed to 'spill' the last of her smoothie in Freddie's lap. Yikes! That was cold! And so embarrassing to have Lewbert laugh at his wet-looking crotch before screaming at him about dripping on the lobby floor.

Once Freddie was showered and in bed he impatiently waited to see if Sam would show up. He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face when he heard the floorboard squeak in the hallway. Sam was on her way to his room. Quiet as a mouse, not something Freddie knew Sam could be, she came in the room and stood by his bed. Again, he lifted the covers for her to crawl in bed and this time, after a hesitant moment, she did. Freddie had butterflies in his stomach, he was so afraid to do something wrong and upset Sam. She laid down with her back to him and he put the covers down around her. She scooted back until her back was against his chest and then laid her head on his arm. He brought his other arm around her and pulled her up tight against him, tucked her head under his chin. He quickly gave her a kiss on the top of her head and then laid his head on the pillow and tried to relax so Sam would relax. She stayed still but Freddie could tell she was not relaxed, she was still all tense. He wondered if he should do something, say something? His arm that was around her had his hand laying very close to hers so he took her hand and intertwined their fingers and used his thumb to rub soothing circles on her hand. That seemed to help her relax. After several minutes laying like that she let out that big sigh again and melted into relaxation and very soon fell asleep. Freddie followed her into a deep peaceful sleep soon after.

Early the next morning Freddie woke up before Sam. During the night he had turned to lie on his back and Sam had turned over to use his chest as a pillow and fling her arm across his torso. Freddie wondered what her hair would feel like on his bare chest. He decided right then to stop wearing his pajama tops to be just that little bit closer to Sam. She was moving just a bit and making a few soft noises, maybe dreaming. She arched her back and her head slid down his arm to rest where he could watch her face. He normally couldn't stare at Sam and really drink in her beauty without getting something heavy or sharp thrown at him so he took the opportunity to really watch her face while she slept. Her lips were moving around some. That was tough for Freddie, they were just begging to be kissed but he knew he couldn't, Sam would probably freak and run again. Freddie had to be strong and let Sam set the pace on this strange nightly adventure they were on together. It was hard but Princess Puckett was worth the trouble. Who would've ever thought nerdy Freddie Benson could get a wild woman and a looker like Sam? They probably looked as weird together as Gibby and Tasha did. He didn't mind being the dorky one of the couple as long as the other half of the couple was Sam.

Slowly Sam started to wake up. He could tell she was awake by how she started to tense up even though she hadn't opened her eyes yet. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up to see Freddie smiling at her. She nervously smiled back and curled up again to be using his chest for a pillow, where he couldn't see her face. Freddie gently stroked her long curly locks for awhile. Eventually Sam sat up, and looked at Freddie. Freddie was about to wish her a good morning but before he could actually say the words Sam put her fingers on his lips to let him know she didn't want him to talk. Freddie took note – no talking, got it. So he just smiled back. Sam got out of bed and quietly left.

The next night Sam was pleasantly surprised to find a bare chested Freddie in bed. She snuggled right into his buff chest and once his muscular arms were around her and he'd kissed the top of her head again she just drifted off into a peaceful sleep with a smile on her face. When she woke the next morning Freddie was on his back again so she turned over to enjoy the view. Up close she could see how lush his dark lashes were, how sweet and kissable his lips looked. Plus she finally got a good look at his bare chest. No hair, just smooth skin over strong muscles with just enough of a fat layer to make him a comfortable pillow. He didn't seem comfortable with his shirt off in public so she'd hardly seen it at all since he worked up all those muscles. At the beach he'd leave his shirt on until just before diving in the waves and as soon as he got out he put the shirt back on. He had a really nice chest and abs, she thought he should show them off. Maybe he was nervous about the lack of hair? Hairy chests turned her off, she liked the look of smooth chests and now she knew she liked the feel of a smooth chest too. She knew she should get up and get moving before his mom got up. Trying to sneak out past an awake Mrs. Benson wouldn't be easy. Besides she needed to get home and grab a bite to eat before school. Sam sighed and gave Freddie's bare chest a gentle kiss, right over the 4 little scars from when Ginger Fox impaled him with a fork, before slowly getting out of bed so as to not wake him. She started out of the room but something caught her eye. It was a piece of bacon in the middle of his cleared off desk. She had to go investigate. It wasn't an actual piece of bacon but a plastic slice of bacon key chain with a key on the ring. She picked it up and noticed there was a small heart charm on the ring too. Sam's eyes teared up. The bacon key chain was obviously for her, he was giving her a key to the apartment. She wondered if the heart charm meant that he was giving her the key to his heart too? She barely dared to hope it was true.

A while later Freddie woke up alone. It was ok. He knew she had to get going before his mom got up and she had things to do before school. He could still smell her strawberry shampoo on his pillow. And he could vividly remember the feel of her long curly locks against his bare chest. Oh yeah, he was never wearing his pajama top again! That was an amazing feeling. He remembered the little gift he'd left for her to find and looked over at his desk. The bacon key chain with the key to his apartment and a heart charm was gone. She had found it and accepted it. Freddie smiled and got out of bed, whistling while he got dressed for his day.

CHAPTER 3: Settling in

Freddie was thoroughly enjoying the changes to his life. Ok, he could do without all the cold showers to keep his hormones in check but he wasn't ready for a relationship like that just yet and he knew Sam certainly wasn't ready for that either. Everything else was just great. Not only did he get to sleep with his arms around the girl he loved but during the day her attitude changed a bit towards him. The verbal abuse got worse but that might have been because the physical abuse was nearly non-existent. Why had she stopped the physical stuff? Was it because of all the attention he was giving her? Had she been abusing him all these years to get his attention? Whatever, he was just glad it seemed to be gone. And it was no hardship giving her the attention she seemed to be enjoying as much as he did.

It was Saturday morning after a lovely night of cuddling together. Mrs. Benson wouldn't be home from work until around 8am so Sam didn't have to hurry off that morning. She had told Carly she'd be over in the morning so she didn't have far to go when she did leave. Sam had never been happier or more confused in her life. Sleeping with Freddie was awesome, she had never had much physical love in her life; her dad ran out on them when she was little, her mom never seemed to hold her much or kiss her boo boos or tuck her in so she never knew was it was like to have that physical closeness with someone and it was fabulous. She was beginning to want a bit more though. As a guy she was sure Freddie wouldn't mind but how to go about it? She really wanted his tasty lips on hers.

They were both awake and just enjoying laying in bed holding each other. Sam was walking her fingers up and down his muscular abs with her head pillowed on his chest. Freddie was trying hard not to laugh at the tickling because he didn't want her to stop. But she did stop and turned to face him. Even crawled up on his chest a bit to be face to face with him. Freddie wondered if the no talking rule was about to be broken. Sam was just staring at him, working her lips a little like she was trying to figure out what to say. She wasn't thinking about what to say at all. Sam had moved into position to kiss Freddie. But then got too nervous about actually kissing him. She knew it would feel wonderful and make her insides change to mush and send tingles up and down her whole body but she was hesitant to take that step of actually being the one to start the kissing. Would Freddie be kissing her just to be kissing any girl or would he truly want to be kissing her, Sam, the wild delinquent? She hesitated a minute longer just staring at Freddie when he lifted his head to close the gap and she felt his wonderful soft lips moving against hers. W-o-w! This was better than she remembered! Lips caressed lips. Tongues darted out for quick tastes and licks. Sam finally found the confidence to reach up and run her fingers through his gorgeous dark hair. She sank into the kiss like sinking into a warm bath and melted her weight down onto Freddie's strong chest. Freddie thought he was in heaven when Sam started to kiss him back but then she relaxed her weight down onto him and he was in a place better than heaven. Her soft chest pressed down on him. What teenage boy wouldn't love that feeling? Especially with a fabulous, gorgeous and fairly well built girl like Sam! Mmmmm what a lovely way to start a day, Freddie could get used to this very easily. The pair savored a good 15 minutes of gentle kissing and cuddling before Sam finally pulled away, knowing she'd have to get going. She leaned in for one more long sensuous kiss and then headed over to Carly's knowing full well that Freddie would be joining them for the day in just an hour or two. But, of course, the kissing couldn't continue in front of Carly. She hadn't told Carly about what was going on between her and Freddie. It was still something precious and secret to her but soon she'd have to let Carly in on what was going on.

Freddie lay back down on his pillow feeling like the cat that swallowed the canary. Man, that Sam could kiss a guys socks off! She was so tough and abrasive but she kissed like the sweetest angel heaven ever created. Freddie heard his mom let herself into the apartment and turned over with his back to the door. She would probably check on him before going to bed and he wasn't in a mood to chat with his mom. He was too happy and gob-smacked from kissing Sam to deal with his mom. He wanted to hold on to those feelings for a little longer. He heard his bedroom door open and close again and knew he was on his own for the day now. Soon enough he'd get out of bed to start the day as one of the iCarly trio. They would be working on skits and they had to go out and see if they could find a life-sized stuffed kangaroo for next weeks webcast. He burrowed under the covers and even fell back to sleep for a little while. He finally rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom but then something on his desk glinted in the sunlight coming through his window, something silver and about the size of a very thick penny. He picked it up to check it out. It was a silver charm in the shape of a big heart with arms holding a smaller heart against itself. It made Freddie think of him holding Sam while they slept. On the back it was engraved "Momma's boy". That made Freddie laugh. It was perfect, he could carry it on his key chain and have a bit of Sam with him at all times but if the guys happened to see it he could say something about his mother making him carry it. But he knew that his mom and 'Momma' were not the same at all!

A few days later when Carly and Sam were hanging out at the Shay's apartment and Freddie had been dragged to a ceramics class by his mother Sam decided to tell Carly about her and Freddie's nights together. They had promised no more secrets and it was past time to tell Carly. It was hard to bring it up but Sam knew Carly would be supportive of her in anything she wanted that wasn't illegal or dangerous. This was dangerous, but only to her heart.

"Hey Carly, you know how we promised not to keep secrets from each other?" Sam asked.

Carly replied, "Yeah, I remember. Why?"

"Well... It's not really a secret but I've been sleeping and making out with Freddie every night." Sam said as quick as she could manage, just get it over with.

"What?" Carly yelled. She knew about the sleeping together and was prepared to act shocked so Sam would think it was the first she'd heard of it but she truly was shocked – making out every night? Freddie hadn't said anything about that!

"Don't get your undies in a bunch, I don't mean the whole sleeping together stuff, I just mean actually sleeping in the same bed. I let myself into the Bensons apartment about 11 or 12 every night, Freddie gave me a key, and we make out for a bit and then go to sleep in his bed, just snuggled up together. In the morning I sneak out before his mom either gets up or gets home from the night shift." Sam explained.

"So you two are back together? I think that's wonderful!" Carly said with a big smile.

"I don't know about back together but sort-of getting there." Sam said hesitantly.

"Don't you want to be together with Freddie? Didn't you say you loved him before?" Carly asked.

"It's complicated. I do want to be with Freddie. But the two of us together is so weird, we're so different! But at night, in the dark, I'm so happy to be with him. I'm especially happy to be sleeping any where but my house right now because my mom has the flu and is so annoying."

Carly said, "Sam! You should be taking care of your mom since she's sick. But is Freddie happy too? I mean, I would think he'd be thrilled but what has he said?"

"We don't talk."

"At all?" Carly asked.

"No, I don't want to talk. That just makes things more complicated. I'm afraid of what we might say. But our making out sure puts a smile on his face." she admitted.

"You aren't just using Freddie, right? You really care about him, don't you? I love you but I love Freddie too and don't want to see either of you hurt."

"Yes, I... um... er... yeah,Ilovehim." Sam said so fast the words ran together but she got them out.

Carly gave Sam a hug. "Then I'm happy for both of you. You are very different people but sometimes opposites attract. And in some ways you are both a lot the same too. Both have not so great moms and no dads. You are the same age and go to the same school. You are both at the end of the grading scale – different ends but ends instead of the middle." Carly laughed "You both are great people and you both have the same best friend – me!"

Sam gave a sigh of relief that telling Carly was over. Not only did her best friend know what she needed to know about Sam's life but now that she did know Sam had a back up plan right next door in case something happened and she had to quickly leave Freddie's place or couldn't go in for some reason. She wouldn't have to go all the way back to her house. "Great, how about a snack? I'm starving and need a nap!"

"Oh, Sam!" Carly groaned as she headed into the kitchen to get some bacon frying for Sam.

The next day Carly got Freddie alone and demanded the details. "You told me Sam was coming back over to sleep with you but you didn't say there was lip action going on! And you gave her a key to the apartment? What's up with the no talking though?"

"Whoa, one question at a time, Carly! Ok, yes, after a few days Sam came back to sleep with me again and I told you that. One morning when we were both awake I was going to wish her a good morning but she put her hand over my mouth. She obviously didn't want me to talk so I haven't and it seems to make Sam more comfortable but I don't know why." he said.

"Wait, I know a bit about that." she interrupted, "She said she was afraid of what the two of you might say. But she didn't say what exactly it was you might say that she was scared of."

"Maybe she's afraid I'll say I love her and she doesn't want that?" Freddie mused, feeling depressed about the possibility.

"No, I don't think it's that." Carly couldn't say Sam already admitted she loves him, that was for Sam to say but she didn't want Freddie to worry about it.

"After she started coming back I left her a key to the apartment on my desk and the next morning she must have seen it and took it because it was gone. I like knowing she can come in any time she wants, like it's her apartment too. Well, being Sam, she already could come in any time she wanted but now she can do it properly and use her own key. Any way, a few days later we were face to face in bed and Sam looked like she was going to say something, or throw up she was so nervous, but I figured out she was trying to get up the courage to kiss me so I helped her out and I kissed her. Yeah, it was even better than I remembered. And... " Freddie suddenly turned red.

"What is it? You're blushing!" Carly wanted to know.

"After I left her the key, a few days later she left me this." he said and dug in his pocket for his keys and showed her the little charm on the ring.

Carly sighed, "Awwww! And I didn't think Sam had a romantic bone in her body! That's so sweet."

"And if the guys give me a hard time I can say my mom makes me carry it, they don't have to know it's from my girl." he said.

Carly was glad to hear Freddie call Sam 'my girl'. It seems they are both pretty serious about this relationship so it's not likely one of them is just using the other and will dump that person when they get bored. They really do care for each other. Wait, Sam and Freddie are dating and serious about each other? Carly figured that Satan probably had frost bite! Now they just needed to make progress towards being a real couple going out on real dates. At least since Sam finally told her about what was going on now she could help them out if necessary. Sam needed a nice, stable, loving boyfriend and that was exactly who Freddie was. And dating Sam would help Freddie separate some more from his mother, also much needed since that woman held on with two iron clad fists! They both deserved someone amazing and Carly thought they both were amazing.

CHAPTER 4: Sick

"What an awesome video of two squirrels playing hopscotch! And that's it for this iCarly! Don't sweat the petty stuff!" exclaimed Carly.

"And don't pet the sweaty stuff! See you next week on iCarly!" called out Sam.

"And... we're clear!" said Freddie.

"Thank God! I'm exhausted!" Sam said while collapsing into a beanbag. "Can we order ribs? I'm starving!"

"How can you be exhausted or hungry? You napped all afternoon after eating a whole large pizza!" Carly asked.

"I don't know. I don't feel all that well and I've had a headache all day." she groaned.

Freddie came over to her and knelt down. "You don't look very good either." he said while putting his hand on her forehead. "Whoa, you're really hot too!"

"I already knew I was a hottie, but thanks, Freddifer" Sam retorted. "I probably just need some food, I'll be fine. I've got all weekend to rest up before school on Monday." she said.

Freddie looked over at Carly and subtly shook his head no. Sam was sick. His precious Princess Puckett was sick and he was worried. He'd never cared for anyone this much before and to have her get sick made him feel sick. He wished he was sick instead of her, she didn't deserve to be sick! "Ok, let's get some ribs." he said with fake eagerness. "That sounds like a great dinner and I'm hungry too. I'll call my mom and let her know I'm staying here for dinner. Maybe afterwards I can run out and get some smoothies and we can watch a movie." Freddie wanted to feed Sam as much as he could, he knew her metabolism was wicked fast and she'd need more fuel if she was going to be fighting illness. And if they had quiet evening in front of the tv maybe she'd feel better.

It was wonderful having Carly know they were somewhat, if not officially, together, after scarfing down a load of ribs, corn, potatoes, soda and a scrumptious dessert of Spencer's special pistachio pudding waffle cones they settled down to watch Fred: The Movie. And since Carly knew about them it was just fine for Carly to sit in the chair and leave the couch for Freddie and Sam. Sam laid down on the couch with her head in Freddie's lap and didn't see too much of the movie, which was ok since she kept saying how awful the girl playing Bertha was acting. While she slept Freddie kept stroking her hair, and lightly rubbing up and down her arm and occasionally checking her temperature. Each time he did he looked over at Carly and gave her a worried look, Sam was warmer than before.

During the movie Spencer walked through the room and did a double take at Sam using Freddie for a pillow instead of a punching bag. Carly simply said "They're back together." And Spencer shrugged, smiled and went on his way.

After the movie and a couple episodes of Girly Cow it was getting quite late and they had to wake Sam up. She was truly sick now and felt completely awful. Against her protests Carly called Sam's mom to let her know Sam would be sleeping over so she wouldn't worry. Carly should've known better. Sam never seemed to call her mom about sleeping over and never got in trouble for it. When Pam picked up the phone she sounded drunk and when Carly said Sam wasn't feeling well and would be sleeping over she didn't seem concerned that Sam wasn't well and was surprised to hear Sam wasn't in her room. She had no idea where Sam had been all afternoon and evening and didn't seem to care. Carly felt kinda bad about lying. Well, it wasn't a real lie. She told Sam's mom that Sam would be sleeping over, she just didn't say at who's apartment. Freddie helped a weak Sam up and across the hall. He came in the door to his apartment half supporting Sam's weight.

Marissa Benson gave Freddie a strange look – he briefly dated Sam but they broke up so why was he now walking in with her late in the evening and had his arm around her?

"Mom, can you look at Sam? She's sick." he asked.

"FREDWARD BENSON! You get away from that sick girl! She's getting her germs all over you!" she shouted.

"Mother, I am not leaving her! And I do not care about getting sick, I am going to take care of her! I would like your help." he stated firmly. "Carly said Sam's mom had the flu last week so we think she caught the flu from her mom."

Marissa looked at the couple closely. Samantha did indeed look quite sick and in need of nursing. And Freddie looked determined to be the one to take care of her. Her son really cared for Samantha. She groaned inwardly. She thought she'd raised him right to grow up and fall in love with a proper woman to marry but here he was picking the worst girl in the school, in her opinion. But the nurse in her couldn't turn away from a sick person, especially a young sick person, and it seemed to mean so much to Freddie to take care of her so she felt she had to let Samantha stay. "Sit her down in the chair and I'll make up the couch for her to stay on tonight. Let me feel her forehead." Marissa gently felt Sam's warm forehead. "Wow, she's really warm. I'll get some Tylenol too. Has she been drinking fluids?"

"Yeah mom, she had water and cola with dinner and Carly brought her lemonade to drink later." he told her as he walked Sam to the overstuffed chair near the couch. He sat on the arm of the chair just holding Sam's hand while Marissa got sheets, blankets and pillows and made the couch into a bed. Marissa insisted Sam wear proper pajamas and loaned her a set of her own and banished Freddie from the room while she helped Sam change. Sam wasn't too happy about it but was too sick to complain much. Freddie hated to leave her but he made use of the time and went to quickly get ready for bed and then to the kitchen to make up several ham sandwiches and load a tray with the sandwiches, some pudding cups, a bag of chips, a couple cans of soda, a couple bottles of water and a big glass of orange juice. Sam was already tucked in bed and asleep when he got back to the living room with the tray.

"The Tylenol should help Samantha's fever and sleep is the best thing for her. I think she'll be fine here alone. Freddie, you aren't going to eat all that are you?" she said.

"No, mom, this is in case Sam gets hungry during the night. And I told you, I'm not leaving, I'm staying right here." he said as he pretended to settle down into the overstuffed chair.

"Call me if you need anything." Marissa said as she headed off to bed, worrying about Freddie's choice of girlfriend.

As soon as she left, Freddie got up and lifted up Sam's head and replaced her pillow with his lap. He surfed the channels on the tv for a bit until he found an old movie to watch. Eventually he fell asleep.

A couple hours later Sam woke up and tried to remember where she was. Things were pretty fuzzy. She did remember falling asleep with her head on Freddie's lap and his lap was still her pillow so she felt safe, Freddie was with her. She looked around and saw the lame late night show on tv and, by the light of the tv, she saw the tray loaded with food. Wait, this wasn't Carly's apartment. She looked around more. Oh, she was at Freddie's place. OMG, they were in the living room together? Was his mom at work or might they be discovered there? The food looked good and she was hungry as usual. She reached for the tray and that woke Freddie up.

"Hey, sweetie, what would you like?" he asked.

"A sandwich and don't call me sweetie if you want to keep your body parts intact." she retorted.

Freddie laughed and reached for a sandwich for her. She must be feeling better, she sounded more like herself when she was ripping on him. Freddie had a sandwich and soda while Sam had 3 sandwiches, 2 pudding cups, a bunch of chips and a can of Peppy cola. At Freddie's urging she also drank the orange juice and some of the water for more fluids. Then she got up and went to the bathroom. When she came back Freddie had moved to the other end of the couch so she could lay on her other side now. She settled down and mumbled a thank you to Freddie and, for the moment or two she could stay awake for, she enjoyed having Freddie rub her arm gently up and down, up and down and then play with her hair. It felt really nice.

About 4am Freddie woke up suddenly. He was hot, way too hot. He looked down at Sam and felt her forehead. She was burning up now. "Sam" he said as he jostled her shoulder. She just moaned and didn't open her eyes. Freddie sat her up and quickly put down a pillow for her head and laid her back down. He was never more glad his mom was a nurse as he was right then. He went to his mom's room and woke her up. "Mom, Sam's burning up now and won't wake up." he said worriedly.

Marissa took Sam's temp. "Samantha's temperature is 104.2, she needs a cool bath to bring it down. Help me get her into the bathroom." she instructed.

The two of them roused Sam enough to get her to cooperate and sort of walk, with help, to the bathroom where they sat her on the toilet. Marissa sent Freddie out to get fresh pajamas and more Tylenol for when they were done with the tepid bath. Marissa undressed Samantha and got her into the tub. She resisted the temptation to sterilize Samantha like she did with Freddie when he was little. She tried to treat Samantha like any other sick patient, she was a sick person in need of a fever-cooling bath. She sponged the cool water over Samantha but couldn't help but notice the girls scars. She had well healed small round scars on the back of her neck and her feet that looked like cigarette burns from when she was very young. Maybe her father had done that to her before he ran off? How could anyone do that to any child, and to do it to their own precious child just boggled Marissa's mind. No wonder the girl never wore her hair up and rarely went barefoot. She also had scratches on her back and shoulders, some were fresher scars, some were older. Her mother? Marissa's heart softened towards the girl, she didn't have the proper upbringing like her Freddie was getting so how could any one expect her to be a perfect child like her Freddie was? And despite looking rag-tag all the time she really was quite clean. Marissa made sure to thoroughly wet Samantha's hair, that would help cool her for quite awhile. Then she had Freddie pass her the fresh pajamas through the door, making sure her baby didn't see the naked girl in the tub. She didn't want to scar the boy psychologically with images of a naked girl in his head! She helped Samantha get dried off and redressed then let Freddie in to assist her back to the couch. Sam had some more Tylenol and finished the bottle of water before falling back to sleep, her head pillowed on Freddie's lap and a worried Freddie rubbing circles on her back. Mmmm, Sam loved that, it felt wonderful.

In the morning Freddie woke up and was alarmed at how damp Sam's pajamas were. He felt her forehead and breathed a deep sigh of relief, she was fine. Her forehead was cool. She must be wet because her fever broke. Ok, calm down, Freddie. he told himself. Sam is going to be just fine. Just then his mom came quietly around the corner. She looked alarmed that they were together on the couch but said nothing. Freddie whispered that her fever broke and she was sleeping soundly. Marissa made a breakfast tray for the two of them with cold cereals and muffins and such that would be ready when they were hungry and went back to her room to read for awhile and let Samantha sleep.

Sam woke up slowly. She tried to make sense of what she remembered. She was sick. Spencer, Carly and Freddie fed her and let her sleep through the movie. Then Carly called her mom even though she told her she didn't need to. Freddie helped her to his place and insisted his mom nurse her even though it was obvious Mrs. Benson thought she was scum. Freddie stayed with her all night, except when... OMG... whacko Mrs. Benson had changed her clothes, then bathed her and changed them again! That was awkward. Freddie made sure she had plenty to eat and stayed with her while she slept and kept an eye on her. She opened her eyes noticed a breakfast tray with food that looked very tempting. She looked up at Freddie and he was smiling down at her. "Your fever has broken, how do you feel?" he asked.

Sam thought about it for a moment. "I feel like someone beat me up but I do feel better than before."

"You have been beaten up, by the flu. But I think the worst is over. When we had that snack during the night I should've given you more Tylenol so your temp wouldn't go back up. I'm sorry, I forgot." Freddie said. He really felt awful about that bad spike in her temperature that he could've prevented.

Sam looked confused and thoughtful. "Is this what it's like to be cared for?"

Freddie's heart broke into a million pieces. Sam didn't even know what it was like to be cared for, even when she was sick? He resolved to see to it that she never felt uncared for again, ever. "Yes, this is what it's like to be cared for. Just wait until you try it when you're feeling well." he said with a smile.

Sam sat up, made herself a bowl of cereal and scooted over to lean on Freddie. "This is really nice. " she said simply. She didn't know how to put into words all that she was feeling.

Marissa Benson came out and got ready for her day and went out to her Aggressive Parenting weekend seminar. She pulled Freddie aside and warned him about doing anything 'unseemly' with 'that girl' but then she did give him some nursing tips on taking care of Sam for the day and said to call if her temp went back up. As she left she called out "Bye Freddie. Bye Sam." and closed the door.

"Dude! Did your mom just call me Sam?" she said surprised.

"Wow, she did. I wonder why she finally stopped using Saman... I mean, your full name?" Freddie said, afraid to actually say Samantha, lest he get slapped. Even a flu-weakened slap from Sam would hurt.

All day Freddie did his very best to take care of Sam. Feeding her every couple of hours, lots of fluids and rest. Did she need a blanket? Would she like a nap? When she did nap, they cuddled in his bed together and both slept for awhile. They were watching Sam's favorite movie, loaned to them by Carly, when Mrs. Benson came home and made them a homemade dinner that she was pleased to see disappear into Sam in amazing quantities. That girl could eat! After dinner, Sam and Freddie went over to Carly's where Freddie's mom thought she would be spending the night but as soon as she left for the night shift at the hospital Freddie and Sam went home. It was starting to feel as much like her home as Carly's did. Her actual home never felt like a real home, no one there cared about her, or cared when, or even if, she came home. Carly, Freddie and even Spencer somewhat were her home and family. Without a second thought they had all pitched in and done what was needed for her well-being when she was sick. She was even grateful for Mrs. Benson taking care of her although it was weird to have someone else dressing her. Maybe Freddie's mom wasn't all that bad. They all took very good care of her, they really did care for her. That was something quite new to her and she would always remember how wonderful it felt, it was even worth getting sick to feel that cared for. Sam felt some of the wall around her heart crumbling. That scared her. She was still sure Freddie was going to get bored being with the wild girl from the so-called wrong side of the tracks and dump her. She would just enjoy it while it lasted and try to protect her heart as much as she could in the mean time so it wouldn't destroy her when the dumping time came. She would still have Carly there to help pick up the pieces.

Sunday afternoon at Carly's the iCarly team was working on some ideas for the show and just hanging out for the day. They were watching some old clips to see if they could find an old skit they could do another spin off from or any other ideas they might come up with while watching the old webcasts. Maybe they could have Tara back on the show to artistically destroy something else? Then they saw Sam offering up Freddie's leg, arm or face for her to break and Freddie's off-camera voice saying "Oh, Sam, if you love me just say so." very sarcastically. Sam turned red and Freddie felt very uncomfortable too. They quickly switched to another old webcast for ideas. Later, Carly had gone across the street to get everyone smoothies and Sam and Freddie were taking a break and just watching tv.

"Hey, Sam, my mom is working a different shift this week because someone is on vacation. She's got a midnight to 8am shift for the week. Maybe you should stay at your house, just for this week. I don't want you going out in the middle of the night so soon after being sick." Freddie said. He knew she was still fighting the flu. Even if the worst of it was over she still needed to take it easy and be pampered. He'd miss her but she needed her rest.

Sam's heart sunk. He didn't want her to come over. He didn't want to see her any old webcast had reminded him how awful she was to him. "Yeah, sure, whatever" she said nonchalantly, while hiding her pain and turned to stare at the tv.

Carly came in the door, "Here are your smoothies!" she said passing out the cups. They drank in silence and Sam, as usual, finished first. She yawned and stretched and said she was tired and going home to go to bed early and left very quickly.

"What up with that?" Carly asked.

Freddie groaned and realized what she must have thought. "Oh, no! I told her my mom was working midnight to 8am this week and maybe she should stay home instead of going out at night and messing up her sleep. I bet she took it as a rejection." he cringed.

"You'd better do something to fix this, quick!" she said.

Freddie thought for a moment and then a big smile spread across his face. "Oh yeah, I know what to do."

CHAPTER 5: Connections

As soon as his mom left for work Freddie got out of bed and quickly dressed, left a note that he'd gone to school early on the kitchen table and headed out. He was pretty nervous about being out alone at night, how did Sam do it? Oh yeah, she was pretty much on her own all the time. There was a weird guy on the bus and Freddie did not want to speculate what his hand was doing in his pants, he just took a seat as far away from him as possible and made his way over to Sam's house. He was prepared to have to sneak in a window or something but the front door was standing open and the screen door was unlocked so he just walked in to see Sam's mom passed out on the couch with the tv still on. He had only been to Sam's house a handful of times, even Sam didn't like to be here, but he did know where her room was. He quietly let himself into the room and shut the door. He just stood there for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the minimal light coming from a street light a few houses down the block. It was a lot darker than his room at night. He thought he heard Sam make a noise. Was she awake? He listened carefully and thought he heard a sniffle. He groaned to himself, he'd really hurt her. He felt awful about that. His eyes were adjusting and he could see Sam in bed facing the wall. He quietly kicked off his shoes and took of his shirt and started to get in bed with Sam. She suddenly started when she realized someone was in her room and got ready to elbow her mom's boyfriend in the nose for trying to get in bed with her when she heard Freddie say "It's ok, Sam. It's just me." Sam froze. It sounded like Freddie but was he was really here? He came to her house to sleep with her? "Shhhhhh It's ok, it's ok, it's only me." he soothed and got in bed with Sam.

Sam tried to wipe her eyes without Freddie seeing but he already knew she'd been crying. He turned her over and carefully wiped her eyes and kissed the tears from her cheeks before laying his head on the pillow, face to face with Sam. "I am so, so sorry I hurt you. I really was just thinking about your health. I didn't want you to interrupt your sleep and go out at night only to relapse and feel awful again. But I do want to sleep with you. Is it ok if I came over here this week?"

Sam's eyes teared up again. She put her finger up to his lips and he thought to himself, Yes, dear, I know, 'no talking allowed' but I had to apologize. Then she leaned in and hugged Freddie close and whispered in his ear." I do love you." He swore his heart stopped at her words, then restarted at a gallop. He was ecstatic and wanted to talk but she had just indicated she didn't want him to talk. He felt stuck. His heart was bursting with love he wanted to declare but he had promised himself to let her set the pace of their relationship, including whether or not they would be talking. He'd just have to try and show her without words that he loved her. As soon as she released Freddie she turned over quickly so she wouldn't have to face him, even in the dark, in case she would see horror on his face at her words. She had to say them but immediately started berating herself for being so stupid. She snuggled back into Freddie's arms all the while thinking: I shouldn't have said that! I should've waited for him to say it first! Why isn't he saying it back? He doesn't feel the same? Of course he doesn't feel the same, you delinquent! He does care for me, I know that. Maybe if I try really hard to be girly like Carly he'll start to love me. Sam vowed to be more like Carly but she knew she couldn't do it.

Tuesday morning, after a second night of sleeping at Sam's, her mother came in her room looking for some smokes and caught the two of them in bed together. Freddie thought he was about to be castrated but Pam just shrugged and asked if he knew where her smokes were. He shook his head no as he was unable to speak and she left the room. She truly didn't care, he knew she didn't care much but she didn't care that Sam had a boy in her bed, even if it was mostly innocent? Unbelievable! That was just so sad. He nestled back down into bed and pulled Sam closer than ever. Even if her mom didn't care, he did! He'd take care of her. Well, he and Carly would take care of her when she needed it. Since it was obvious Pam didn't care if he was there he just sauntered into the house that night right past Pam and made a bee line for Sam's bedroom. The rest of the week went the same at her house. He was sure to mess up his bed and bathroom so his mom thought he slept at home and got ready for school there. She thought the AV Club was meeting every morning to work on a special project so Freddie could stay at Sam's until they left for school every morning. Freddie made sure Sam had a good breakfast, even if he had to bring it or buy it on the way to school. He made sure she got her sleep and drank her liquids. Sam complained about being smothered but said it with a smile as she relished being cared for.

Once the weekend came they switched back to Sam coming over to the Bensons at night. Even if Freddie was there at her house sleeping with her it was still her unwelcoming home, she'd rather be at his place with him and have Carly right next door. Plus having two well stocked kitchens at her disposal didn't hurt either. Carly and Spencer had gone to visit with their granddad for the weekend so Sam went over there before Mrs. Benson got up and Freddie came over later, after having breakfast with his mom. They avoided talking about their sleeping arrangements or relationship and just enjoyed spending time together alone and awake. Saturday afternoon they went to see a matinee and after sharing a huge bucket of popcorn and large soda they sat back to enjoy the movie. Freddie leaned towards her and reached over the arm rest and picked up Sam's hand and held it. During the movie Sam leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. Freddie was hopeful this was another step towards being a real couple, out in the world, still being affectionate with each other. On their walk home from the movie they were just walking and chatting about nothing in particular when Sam grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. Freddie just smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

Freddie went home from the Shay's apartment and got ready for bed and went to bed while his mother was still up. Then after she went to bed and he knew she'd be asleep he texted Sam to come on over. A whole day with Sam was not enough. They had the whole weekend alone together, days and nights, and it still wasn't enough for Freddie. He had something to say and he needed to stay it. He wanted Sam to know it and hear it. She came in wearing new shorty pajamas made of silky material. They might seem like something she'd never wear but despite being silky they still managed to look like shorts and a t-shirt. Freddie moaned when her silky hair and pajamas made contact with his bare chest at the same time. Sam took up her usual sleeping position with her back to him but he rolled her shoulder back towards him so she would roll over. He needed to see her face.

"Sam, can I talk now, please?" Freddie asked.

Sam's heart sunk. Here it came, the gentle rejection. Gentle or not, it was going to hurt. But Sam knew it had to be so she took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"Thanks, I was just wondering, if I get Carly to dress me up in some slamming outfit so I look presentable, could we go out to dinner?" Freddie rushed on, "We could go to a restaurant out of town where no one would see you out with me, ok?"

"Wait, what?" Sam exclaimed.

"Well, I know you don't want to be seen in public with a dork like me but I still would like to go out on a real date with you again so we can be alone together and just chat about everything and nothing more often than when Carly and Spencer are out of town."

"You think I don't want to be seen in public with you? Why in the world would you think that! I know I've ragged on you about being a tech nerd but you are not a dork or a nerd. I'm jealous of your smarts and you are so nice and friendly and gorgeous hot and polite..." Sam started to explain.

"Then how come we can only be alone together at home in bed?" Freddie asked confused.

Sam hesitated and looked away. Freddie gently turned her face back to his and arched his eyebrow to indicate he needed an answer. Sam closed her eyes and blurted out, "I don't want to be seen in public with you because I know I'm not good enough for you! Everyone looks at us and sees a sweet, smart, handsome boy and his abrasive, tough, bad girlfriend who is a nothing and they wonder why you would be with me when you could do so much better!"

Freddie's eyes teared up. Oh no, thought Sam, he hadn't noticed how mismatched we were before and now he sees it clearly and will dump me. Freddie gathered Sam closer and kissed her cheek. "You don't want to be seen in public with me because you think you aren't good enough? Exactly what part of you isn't good enough for, and even better than me? Shall I go over everything? Let's start at the bottom and go up. Your feet – I just love your Converse sneakers and that you don't follow stupid fashions and wear those uncomfortable, girly shoes. Your legs – shapely and strong. You've also got a smokin' hot figure that is lean in the right places and curvy in the right places. How can you be so strong and soft at the same time? Your capable, petite hands can do so many things and feel awesome running through my hair. You arms can beat me at arm wresting yet feel so soft and perfect when they are holding me next to you. Your hair, let's just say OMG and leave it at that. Your sparkling blue eyes are the color of a sky on a clear summer morning and they miss nothing but you manage to not let them give anything away either. Very mysterious. Cute nose, kissable cheeks, dainty chin and your lips: W-O-W! Luscious, full, soft, tasty and talented! And you are smart, you just choose not to use your brains on school, that's not important to you but it doesn't mean you are not intelligent." Now Sam's eyes were tearing up.

"And your heart, your amazing heart. You are a loyal friend and stick up for your friends. You have survived a horrible home life and it made you tough. That's not a bad thing, that is a good thing. But I still wish you hadn't had a bad home life, you deserve better. You can be a hard worker when something is important to you, like iCarly. You are abrasive and it does turn people off but if someone hangs in there and really gets to know you they can see that you are smart enough to use that abrasiveness to keep the world at arms length to protect yourself. Inside you are as soft as a marshmallow but you refuse to let just anyone see that so they can't hurt you. That makes you strong and sensitive, an alluring combination. You protect those you love as fiercely as a mother bear. It's nice to be one of those protected.

Anyone smart enough to fall in love with you would know your tough exterior protects a fragile heart and would strive to be come another layer to protect your precious heart, not expose your soft spots." Freddie stopped talking and looked at Sam. She had tears running down her face. "I promise you, I am not ashamed to be with you in public, I would like to shout to the whole world that of all the guys in the world you picked nerdy little ole me! I'm the luckiest guy on Earth. And I am proud to work hard to be another layer of protection for your precious heart because..." Freddie hesitated and Sam held her breath. "Because I love you."

"You love me?" Sam finally breathed again. Freddie loves me? Freddie loves ME? Really?

"I love you, Sam. All of you. Every amazing part of you. And I can't believe I get to hold you and kiss you and be around you most of the time." Freddie leaned in and kissed Sam gently.

"You love me." Sam said amazed. "You even love the not so loveable parts. A smart, sweet, handsome guy with fabulous lips and body to match loves me. How did I get so lucky? And you don't care if the world thinks I'm not good enough for you?" She asked.

"Who in their right mind would think you aren't better than me? Then again, who cares what other people think? I'm only interested in what we think." he said.

Sam's confidence in her relationship with Freddie and his feelings for her was starting to grow so she decided to take a leap. "I think maybe we should go out." she ventured hesitantly.

"You mean it?" he asked.

"Yeah. Let's take things slow. I don't want to make any mistakes. This" she hugged Freddie closer "is far too important to take chances with."

Freddie thrilled to hear he was too important to take chances with, so was his Sam. "I totally agree. Maybe this weekend we could go to the beach for a picnic and swim? I know of a quiet beach where we'll have it mostly to ourselves. It's a very boring, safe beach my mom used to take me to when I was little and she wanted to teach me to swim. Does that sound like a plan to you?"

"Can we have fried chicken?" she asked, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of food.

"Yes, Princess Puckett, we can bring fried chicken and bacon and ham and ribs and anything else you want."

"Yay!" Sam said and then yawned. "I'm very happy now but also really tired. We can make out tomorrow. Let's go to sleep, Freddiebear."

Freddie smiled. No more Freddork, now he was Freddiebear? Oh yeah, life is good. Freddie wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and tucked her up against his body, kissed her on the top of the head and drifted off to sleep smiling.


End file.
